Reports say that Hurricane Sam has left chaos and disorder within the country of Office Maxia! State of Impress left in shambles!
All I do is destroy!!!!
I’m at work and I’m printing off a poster for the store to hang up. There’s this sign that hangs up next to the printer and I kinda punch it when I’m bored and have wait for posters to print. Well on this particular shift the sign decided it was not gonna take anymore of my bullshit so it snapped… completely three fourths of the way down. I watched the bottom piece fly away from the force of my punch in slow motion.
Now, keep in mind that im already in the hot seat at work because my “amazingly smart and compassionate” store manager feels I’m incompetent to work in my own department even though hes never A) Worked back there. B) Never has seen me do my job. C) Actually see all the customers I help out who leave happy and satisfied. and D) based his assumption of me on the basis of a impatient customer who has nothing better to do than please his manhood fantasizing about the upcoming football season.
So, I pick up this sign and hyperventilate for the next few minutes and hatch an idea. I snached up some super glue and tape and like a surgeon, cuttin’ for the very first time, (SONG REFERENCE) mend the beaten sign. With a sigh of relief, I hung up the sign and asked for the my other awesome managers (not to be confused with the one described above, shes actually really awesome ) approval and it was granted. She said shed never had guessed. So I go on with my happy self and continue my shift.
Now, because I have the foreboding sense that God does not like me, I go and make another dumb mistake. I take a customers heavy package that they are sending off through FedEx and place it on one of our shred boxes. I head a light crunch sound and to my surprise, the damn things are made of cheap wood that fails under the weight of the package.
Too long; Didn’t read Section:
1) I’m an idiot.
2) I somehow managed to break two things at work in one shift.
3) Shred boxes are made of cheap wood.
4) If I’m not careful, I think I can potentially destroy the Earth.